Wrong number

I have very set rules about what I post here and what I don’t. And how-my-day-went and what-I-generally-did, apart from ten-things-in-people-that-reaaally-piss-me-off, strictly fall under the heading “what I don’t post here”. But, I had a most curious day yesterday, which I think merits an exception. I mean, even as lucky days go, this one really takes the biscuit! And the mottled oyster too, for good measure. Sample this conversation I had over SMS sometime in the evening:

(Dunno Who: DW. Your Truly: YT)

DW: I heard Reji is only NSM and he is not heading marketing. Ramesh's version was true, I think. They have started the launch with one product, Tobramycin. FYI.
YT: On account of me being Ahab, and not the person you wished I was, I'm afraid a certain bloke has been deprived of this very useful piece of info. FYI.
DW: Thanks for the communication. It was a typo error. Sorry for the inconvenience.
YT: No harm done. Just mail me Rs. 6500 for the trouble. Thanks.
DW: Please send me your account number and password. I shall deposit it on the 29th of this month.
YT: Capital idea. But I'd rather that you left it in a plastic bag, all in unmarked bills, in the roadside bin on 4th cross, 10th main, Indiranagar at 5 PM tomorrow.

(End of Thread. I intend to go and check the bin in the evening. You never know, and I need the money.)

Now, before you conclude that this time I've absolutely done it and have gone right off my rocker, you must understand the peculiar frame of mind that I was already in, due to the events preceding this.

I got a call at 6:30 in the morning (I use the term loosely – mornings, of course, start only much later). An enthusiastic “Yello, Rajashekara?” By any standards, 6:30 is way too early. And for me, the established procedure in case of calls that I get way too early in the morning, is to mutter something in Greco-Dutch into the phone and go right back to sleep. I stuck to it and hung up. But even before I completely resumed my dreamless, the chap was back, and this time he had a retort ready in Kannada. Now, my reflexes at the best of times are dulled, and at 6:30 in the mornings, they trade in negative territory, especially in the Kannada counter. I was left with no option; I heaved a sleepy sigh and resorted to plan-B. But it did feel a little sad to have to crush his enthusiasm finally, with a curt "Nimmajji".

Cut to work. There was an FYI inflicted on me by a sweet sounding, but completely alien, Ms. Ambrose, saying that I should make myself available for a VC at 12 noon, without fail, to discuss, inter alia, “PBS & PS Web SPOCs”. I, naturally, had a few choice words to say in the reply. She, also naturally, did not reply. As an aside, that’s one of the disadvantages of having a popular name and working in a large company – there are about two hundred thousand people with your name whose mails invariably make their way to your mailbox.

And now, the piece-de-resistance. Just when I was showing signs of recovering from all the Tobramycin, a dear, and usually quite coherent, friend of mine chose to inflict this SMS on me: "You went good? It did of the acco held stir to user content". I was still reeling under it when she told me a short while ago that she’d struck upon this brilliant idea of leaving the mobile’s auto-suggest on, and typing the message in French. If that, L and G, doesn’t qualify to make your day, then I’d say that all civilization has been a failure.